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I thought I’d take it easy by having a night of chamomile oil in a diffuser. I was wrong. It wasn’t easy or relaxing.
Two things you should know about me –
I fear authority. I’d like to call it respect, but its fear-based respect.
I’m claustrophobic. Don’t like to feel trapped, don’t like to be in small spaces, and don’t like feeling like I can’t get fresh air in a moment’s notice.
Here I find myself in Dream Town at a subway station (underground, ugh) waiting with 12 of my family members to board a train downtown. I don’t have 12 family members. But there are 12 months in a year and a year is a complete cycle so this dream must have something to do with completing a cycle.
My train token wasn’t working but the woman who sold it to me refused to acknowledge I just bought it (but who am I to argue with authority). So off my train goes with my family, except my sweet daughter who tried to jump off last minute to stay with me but was stuck on a rail and I had to rescue her.
I’m such a good mom.
Now I’m trying to scrounge up some money to buy another train token and my daughter who was across the station is suddenly gone. I search everywhere for her including a candy museum color blasted in every shade of a painter’s palette (I guess that’s the “sweet” part of my chamomile dream)?
A woman in a dark cape points ominously to a doorway. My little girl must be through there. I open the door, see a narrow staircase that appears to become more and more narrow as it ascends. I can’t breath. I can’t take that stairway because I am afraid I’ll climb and get trapped. I couldn’t rescue her.
I’m such a bad mom.
Was this a relaxing dream? No, it felt like a nightmare. First she almost dies, then I’m to afraid to save her. What is this dream telling me?
Do I want to be successful in this year of dream blogging? It’s been on my mind a lot.
Can I be successful in this year of dreaming blogging? I’m starting to doubt myelf.
Do I want to say I can’t do this because I’m afraid? Fear always stops me from doing things I want to do for myself.
Yes, I want to be, and WILL be successful. No, I don’t want to be afraid. I need to get over my fears, listen to (and obey) my inner authority, and slay this cycle of my life.
Whoa, I need a break. No more oils, they are pretty powerful. I think I’ll try a drawstring pouch of chamomile under my pillow tonight. That feels safe.