Do you ever get to the point where you’re just over yourself? Like, you know you’re awesome, but you know you’re not being the best awesome version of yourself? I’m there right now. Or should I say I WAS there. I’m coming out of it. And I have the new moon to thank for that.
New moons bring new beginnings. Always one to try being in alignment with the moon, I really took time to focus Saturday on how I’m going to foster the new beginnings I want. One of those “new” beginnings is getting back into my enjoyment of fitness. Because I know, as much as I don’t want to admit it, that when I’m physically active, everything else works for me. I’m motivated, I’m patient, I sleep better, and I make decent food choices. When I’m not physically active, I’m a bit of a mess.
Months ago I signed up to run a 10 mile race, the Broad Street Run, on Sunday, May 5th. I’ve run this race twice before and I know how important it is for me to train. I started my training strong and fierce this time. But, I let it slip. I stopped working out and running as much as I should, packed on a few unwanted pounds, and found myself faced with the reality that I was very unprepared for this run.
So I made excuses as to why I wouldn’t run on Sunday. The weather looked bad, I don’t want to run in the rain. The puppy will be sad in his crate all day. Who will watch the kids? I haven’t run more than 6 miles in a year so I can’t physically do it. My shoes don’t fit well. My favorite sports bra isn’t clean. But then I had a thought. What if I just let go of the excuses? What if I quiet them? What will happen?
As I went to sleep Saturday night – after laying out my running gear – clothes, charged ear buds, race bib, safety pins, water bottle, armband, ID, and cash, I decided that it was a new moon and there will be a new me. I’d run the race Sunday morning. It might be ugly, slow, and wet, but I’d do it. Because I can. And because I don’t want to be lazy or full of excuses. I want results. New moon, new me.
That night in Dream Town I approached the starting line. It was pouring rain as the race began. I went to start my watch to track my pace, but it wasn’t there on my wrist. I forgot it at home. Great! I’m never going to get through the next 10 miles without knowing how I’m doing. But then I thought – I made it here. I already did the hardest part. I showed up. That sudden shift in my thought process caused the skies to clear, the sun to shine, and my excitement to explode. I began the race.
When I awoke at 5:45 am I looked outside. It was pouring. Oh well. New moon, new me, let’s get ready. And I did. All geared up, ready to go. Ordered my Uber. The driver cancelled. Ordered my Lyft, the driver cancelled. I was about to throw in the towel and think I can’t do this. It’s not working out easily. It’s pouring, I can’t get a ride, and I’m not even prepared physically to run 10 miles. But, new moon, new me, new Uber driver. He picked me up and I was on my way.
Fifteen minutes into my ride, I realized I forgot my watch. A very loud expletive came out of my mouth and startled the driver.
Do I go home and get it? No, there’s not enough time because the other drivers cancelled…now I was mad at them. Do I just go home and say forget it or do I keep going without the watch? Then I thought of my dream – annoyed that I didn’t pay attention to the fact that it was alerting me I was likely going to forget the watch so I should put it on as soon as I wake up. And I remembered in the dream that as soon as I accepted the situation for what it was, the sun started shining and I was ready to go. While it was clear the sun would not be shining today, I did accept the situation for what it was and allowed the sun to shine on me mentally. I was going to run these 10 miles without my watch. And it was really not going to be that big of a deal.
1 Hour and 43 minutes later, I crossed the finish line without a watch, soaked, tired, and cold, but full of pride in myself. Best time ever? No, not at all, and that’s my fault. But who cares? I just ran 10 miles in the pouring rain with little training. It’s all good, and I feel great!
Can’t wait to do it again next year! With a better time.
Step it up, Jillian. New moon, new me!
If you’re inspired by my dreams, and want to learn to remember yours, take a look at my introductory dream program – 5 Nights Of Dreaming.
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